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Monday, December 4th. St Barbara. Entente Cordiale (EC) rating: 100

The newish mother-and-daughter proprietors of the village shop tell us they'd like to begin stocking typical British products in time for Christm

I am on a beach in Corsica looking at a French woman’s bottom. It is pert, round and rather tanned. At the risk of being arrested I go a little closer. What I’m trying to discover is whether or not French women have cellulite...

HERE'S A little verse.

Un, deux, trois:
Où est le roi?
Quatre, cinq, six:
Avec son fils.
Sept, huit, neuf:
Il mange un oeuf
Dix, onze, douze:
Sur la pelouse.

Translation? What

IT'S ALWAYS a pleasure to head over the hills and far away for Montpellier, the big city, to gulp down draughts from the deep well of urbanitis. Village life is all very well, and there's much to be said for living in a rural community where every

I had never thought about living in France until my husband came back from a press trip to Thailand. Before he had unpacked the suitcases, he told me we were moving there. I ignored him.

Pity poor Sting. Half a mile from his 17th century manor house in Wiltshire a small wooden fishing hut has been erected without planning permission. The singer is not so much dancing on the moon as hopping mad. He should never think about buying a place in France. For here in France people can put up huts as and when it suits them...

SOME MONTHS ago (filled with shame, I didn't rant about it at the time but nursed my wounded amour propre privately in my bosom. I've got over it now, thank you for enquiring) an official-looking letter arrived for Josephine, postmarked R